Family complaints

Dear Internet,

   Do you ever wish that everyone around you would just disappear?  Not forever... just for a while.  I just want them all to go away and leave me alone.
   See, my aforementioned Catholic parents have this problem: Mom has the maturity level of a 5-year-old, and Dad has the maturity level of a 4-year-old, and both of those children act friggin' spoiled.  Oddly enough, I've found Mom is more reasonable than Dad is, even though Dad is the one that's in charge.
   Dad came from a military family.  His dad was very German and took a disciplinarian method to child rearing, running his house under a very strict thumb and taking no questions to authority.  Dad is nicer about it, but it's the same philosophy.
   Mom, on the other hand, grew up with the most permissive parents you can imagine.  Sure, they were Catholic, like the rest of our family, but they let their kids get away with anything.  They drank, they got knocked up, they stayed out late and partied, they pissed off drivers on purpose; they could do whatever they wanted and their parents didn't blink an eye.  So Mom is the permissive one.
   I don't know why they're so immature.
   Mom was the youngest of eight, and she was the only girlie girl (her two sisters were tomboys), so I could sort of see how she got spoiled as a kid.  That, and her permissive parents, sort of make sense...  I guess I could see why Mom never really grew up.  At times, her 5-year-old maturity level is even endearing.
   But she's panicky, she always jumps to conclusions, and she's way too concerned about her appearance.  She gets stressed out easily, and when she's stressed, she starts freaking out and talking really fast and high-pitched, stuttering, and isn't really sure what to do, but insists on being in charge.  And no matter what mood she's in, she can't stand silence.  If no one else is talking, she'll talk about the same thing over and over again, rambling, just to fill in the air.
   Her methods of doing certain things are really fucking annoying, too.
   If she wants someone to do their chores, she either yells at them or sings in an overly cheerful voice in order to annoy them into doing it.  If someone is fighting with another sibling, she calls them names, sinks down to their level and lower, gets into the fight, and makes everything worse.  If she actually notices one of her teenagers questioning her authority, she just yells at them, like if she talks louder she's suddenly and unquestionably in charge.
   Dad is worse.
   He expects us all to be psychic.  If we don't know what he wants, what he's thinking, he gets mad at us.  If we don't do a chore, he tells us a story about how he grew up and guilt trips us.  He's always guilt tripping people.  If we don't do what he wants us to do, even though he almost never tells us what it is he wants us to do, he pouts and sulks and brings it up over and over for months afterwards, no matter how minor and insignificant the incident was.
   If one of us gets in trouble with Dad, he almost never is willing to listen to the reason behind our actions.  He expects us to know what we did wrong, even if we are convinced we did nothing wrong, because sometimes we honestly don't know why he's angry.  He just punishes the offender with no explanation and a lot of anger.
   Neither of them takes criticism on their parenting methods-- when I try to talk to Mom, she rejects what I say right away, no matter how right I am or what studies I have to back me up, and none of us would ever DARE trying to criticize Dad.
   It's really fucking annoying.
   It's one thing when it's a kid acting like he does, pouting and throwing tantrums, but when a full-grown adult, when an authority figure, acts like he does, it is shameful and appalling.  And the worst part is there is no talking to him about it.

   The other most annoying member of my family is my brother.  I have two brothers; one of them is in elementary school and is very energetic and sweet.  He talks too much, daydreams a lot, and is rather effeminate.  He's also extremely skinny, probably because he seldom eats and never stops moving.
   But he's not the annoying one.
   No, the annoying one is my other younger brother, who is two years younger than me and is in his senior year of high school.
   Him, I can't wait to be rid of.  He's looking at colleges that he'd have to live at, and I couldn't be happier to see him go.  (I live at home and commute to school.)
   This kid-- this kid-- thinks he knows everything.  He thinks he's the third parent.  Even when Mom or Dad, or even both of them, explicitly says that I am the one in charge, he tells me to my face that he refuses to submit to me, refuses to listen to me, refuses to respect me.
   He respects no one.
   He fears Dad, as does everybody, but he does not respect Dad.
   He thinks he is in charge of everybody.  And he is a horrible leader.
   My brother's idea of teaching someone to do something is pointing out all their faults angrily and calling them stupid.  My brother's idea of calming people down is speaking to them in a condescending tone as if our intelligence is barely on a human level of comprehension and saying all the most infuriating things possible.  Sometimes I think he does it on purpose just to piss people off.  And the whole time he makes it like he's the calm one.
   He refuses to take responsibility for his actions.  He avoids any sort of responsibility like the plague.  He doesn't do his chores.  He weasels his way out of them as often as possible, with the stupidest reasons.  He won't go to bed on time, and then complains about being cranky and tired.  No matter who tells him to get out of bed at a certain time, be it Mom or Dad or everyone including them, he stays in bed for at least another two hours afterwards and either yells at whoever reminds him to get up, ignores them, or comes to the door and puts on a sob show.  He's so infuriatingly melodramatic!
   All three of them are!  It's like they all want to star in their own soap operas!!
   I've never seen another man who is so quick to manipulate people with tears.  Isn't that supposed to be a girl thing?!  Mom says my brother is just sensitive, but it's not that.  Sensitive is understanding women's feelings; sensitive is bringing women chocolates when those women are having a bad day; sensitive is sending his mother flowers on her birthday with a card saying "I Love You, Mom".  Sensitive is a positive quality in a man...  No, my brother is not 'sensitive'.  He is a melodramatic crybaby.
   It's going to be awfully funny watching that drama queen learn how to do all those chores the rest of us can do when he goes off to college.  He'll have to do his own laundry, keep his own room clean... and he'll finally be out of the freaking house.  It'll be just a bit more peaceful around here.
   Hell, he's barely here half the time anymore.  He locks himself in his room, playing his keyboard or listening to music, doing homework (the only responsibility he actually attends to), or sleeping (he sleeps way too freaking much!), and he's always listening to his music via headphones when he's not in his room.  It doesn't matter if he's doing dishes, or if the radio is on.  He's only not listening to his headphones when it's mealtime, and then he always has to demonstrate his unfailing knowledge of everything and why it's superior to anything the rest of us could possibly contribute to the conversation.
   He says he can't wait to get out of here.
   Well, I can't wait for him to get out of here, either.  Good riddance!

   If I'm so annoyed with my family, then why am I still here, you ask...?
   Because for one, living in a dorm is rather expensive, and I happen to be within reasonable commuting distance of my college of choice.  And for another, I do not want to live in a dorm if I can avoid it; I need my personal space, and that is hard to come by in a dorm.  I am also a fan of peace and quiet; also hard to come by in a dorm.  Another reason is that I would very much like to not move out until I have a job.  My ultimate reality would be moving directly out of here into me and my husband's new house after our wedding, but of course, I have not found a husband yet.
   But that's another post for another time...