Free from Nothing

Dear Internet,

   Growing up as a Roman Catholic, I was taught that there were invisible demons all around me.  They would whisper evil things in my ear, watch me from corners, and crawl into my head to give me nightmares.  Whenever I had a 'bad' thought, it was a demon causing it- not my own free will.  Although scary movies could influence nightmares, they were still caused by demons.  If I said "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you demons to go back to Hell and leave me alone!" the demons would go away.
   Or at least, that's what I was taught.
   I did buy into it to some extent, though, because I've always had a very active imagination.  I even used the 'go away in Christ's name' bit a few times, and it did make me feel better.  (Of course, I don't anymore.  Now, I fancy I'm punching whatever I dreamed about which caused me fear.  If I beat up the imaginary motherfucker, it goes away quite nicely, and I feel a lot more powerful and in control because I'm the one that defeated it.)
   I did believe, to some extent, that bad thoughts could be caused by demons, until I got to be... oh, eight or nine or so.  It never seemed literally true to me- more like a metaphor, like in cartoons, where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.  They symbolized a conflict happening in one's head.  But for me, there was never an angel on my other shoulder.  It was always a naughty thought verses its possible ramifications, being weighed inside my head to see whether or not it was worth it to indulge in my mischief.  I knew it was all me, all my thoughts, and that there were no demons actually whispering in my ear.  I knew that, even when I believed.
   I also believed that God could hear me.  Whether or not he could hear my thoughts was never clear.  I taunted him, teased him, dissed him, ridiculed him, and dared him to show himself or punish me when I was thinking naughty things.  But, see, the thing is, he never did.  I knew that in the bible, it said that I should not be having many of the thoughts I had; that they were evil and harmful and that I was committing dozens of mental sins every day.  The thing is, though, I never felt guilty for thinking these things.  Not once.  I knew I should, and occasionally that bothered me, but when it came down to it, they were my bloody thoughts, and no one could have any way about what went on inside my head.  Not even God, who didn't seem to mind me thinking about those naughty, sinful things anyway.  Since he never punished me, I figured he understood.  After all, he'd supposedly made me in the first place.
   The biggest thing that bothers me, though, is this: I've always been afraid of the dark.  It's a common enough fear; nothing to be ashamed of.  But, see, I used to believe that there were demons all over the place when it was dark.  I'd conjure up all these horrifying images of bears and hounds and mutant animals with sharp fangs, red eyes, and black hair or fur- always black- and sharp claws, waiting there in the darkness, crouching and ready to spring, to run after me at any moment and devour me.  Every time I had to walk through my house at night, my heart would be pounding double-time every time I had to rush past a darkened room, for fear that its inhabiting demons would chase me and maul my body.
   Once I became an atheist, I suddenly stopped being afraid.  "That's a chair," I'd think.  And it was- a harmless chair.  "And that's a sofa.  There is nothing in this room- just furniture, and possibly one of the cats." And it's true- that's all that's in those rooms at night.  I am free from fear of the things that were never there.
   How horrible is it to have a child entertaining such horrible fears?  How horrible is it to teach children that there are evil, invisible things everywhere which are all eager and waiting to do harm to them?
   It is detestable.
   This is just one of many reasons why I am glad to be an atheist.  My children will never have such fears.