Dear Internet,
I hate this time of year. It's even worse than Christmas. Every Christian out there is joyfully strutting about proclaiming how wonderful their God is and how he loved us so much he sent his only son to die for our sins. FUCK dying for my sins; I hadn't even been born yet! What, did the old bugger just assume that I was going to be a horrible, sinful person?
Oh right, right, he's omniscient. How ignorant of me.
All right then. Since he's omniscient, WHY THE FUCK DID HE HAVE TO SEND HIS SON TO DIE ON THE BLOODY CROSS WHEN ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS FORGIVE EVERYONE FOR ACTING THE WAY THAT HE CREATED THEM TO ACT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
And what's all this about God being three persons and one person at the same time and sending for each other even though he doesn't have to because he already knows everything that is ever going to happen?! I mean, what was the point of Jesus sitting there in the garden praying all bloody night TO HIMSELF?! He knew he was going to die; that was the whole reason he was sent here!! Saving himself would've ruined the whole bloody thing!
While we're on the subject of Jesus, why didn't he perform REAL miracles?! What's with all this rubbing spit on a blind person's eyes and feeding a multitude with fish and bread? No. No, if I was God, and I wanted people to believe in me, I'd re-order the fucking WEATHER. "Say, you! Yes you, the chap with the camel! You want it to rain, don't you?" 'How did you know?!' "I'm God." *makes it rain* 'Praise be the Lord!'
Or how about this? "Oh, yes, and here's the cure to cancer. I know you've been wanting that. No, no, you've got it all wrong- diseases aren't caused by evil spirits. They're caused by GERMS. Nasty little fellows, they are. Dunno why I created them. Ah well, here's how you cure it. See? It's simple! Oh, and here are the secrets to electricity and indoor plumbing. G'day!"
But no. He didn't do anything like that.
Do you know why...?
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WRITING THE BIBLE WERE HALF-LITERATE BRONZE-AGE SHEPHERDS LIVING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DESERT!!!!!
Oh, but they were divinely inspired to write that contradictory, violent, sadistic, confusing rubbish pile of filth and mind-numbing pestilence. How on Earth could I forget? I mean, only a bloodthirsty tyrant like Yahweh could have inspired such a veritable dung heap!
I've gotten off subject.
Right, back to Easter- tell me, if you don't think that Yahweh is based off of a war-god to a relatively small group of people living in the Middle East, then why is it that the only way to appease himself is to split himself into three and kill himself? What's so appeasing about human sacrifice? Doesn't that seem... oh, I don't know... a little barbaric, perhaps?
But do you know what? There's just no reasoning with religious people on these points. So if you're religious, I don't want to hear anything about how I'm going to Hell and how Jesus died for my sins and I should just prostrate myself to your imaginary friend and beg for forgiveness for having a brain and actually using it (for something other than memorizing Bible verses), because I've heard it all already. I'm an ex-Catholic. I know every argument you're going to throw at me. So fuck off.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Free from Nothing
Dear Internet,
Growing up as a Roman Catholic, I was taught that there were invisible demons all around me. They would whisper evil things in my ear, watch me from corners, and crawl into my head to give me nightmares. Whenever I had a 'bad' thought, it was a demon causing it- not my own free will. Although scary movies could influence nightmares, they were still caused by demons. If I said "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you demons to go back to Hell and leave me alone!" the demons would go away.
Or at least, that's what I was taught.
I did buy into it to some extent, though, because I've always had a very active imagination. I even used the 'go away in Christ's name' bit a few times, and it did make me feel better. (Of course, I don't anymore. Now, I fancy I'm punching whatever I dreamed about which caused me fear. If I beat up the imaginary motherfucker, it goes away quite nicely, and I feel a lot more powerful and in control because I'm the one that defeated it.)
I did believe, to some extent, that bad thoughts could be caused by demons, until I got to be... oh, eight or nine or so. It never seemed literally true to me- more like a metaphor, like in cartoons, where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They symbolized a conflict happening in one's head. But for me, there was never an angel on my other shoulder. It was always a naughty thought verses its possible ramifications, being weighed inside my head to see whether or not it was worth it to indulge in my mischief. I knew it was all me, all my thoughts, and that there were no demons actually whispering in my ear. I knew that, even when I believed.
I also believed that God could hear me. Whether or not he could hear my thoughts was never clear. I taunted him, teased him, dissed him, ridiculed him, and dared him to show himself or punish me when I was thinking naughty things. But, see, the thing is, he never did. I knew that in the bible, it said that I should not be having many of the thoughts I had; that they were evil and harmful and that I was committing dozens of mental sins every day. The thing is, though, I never felt guilty for thinking these things. Not once. I knew I should, and occasionally that bothered me, but when it came down to it, they were my bloody thoughts, and no one could have any way about what went on inside my head. Not even God, who didn't seem to mind me thinking about those naughty, sinful things anyway. Since he never punished me, I figured he understood. After all, he'd supposedly made me in the first place.
The biggest thing that bothers me, though, is this: I've always been afraid of the dark. It's a common enough fear; nothing to be ashamed of. But, see, I used to believe that there were demons all over the place when it was dark. I'd conjure up all these horrifying images of bears and hounds and mutant animals with sharp fangs, red eyes, and black hair or fur- always black- and sharp claws, waiting there in the darkness, crouching and ready to spring, to run after me at any moment and devour me. Every time I had to walk through my house at night, my heart would be pounding double-time every time I had to rush past a darkened room, for fear that its inhabiting demons would chase me and maul my body.
Once I became an atheist, I suddenly stopped being afraid. "That's a chair," I'd think. And it was- a harmless chair. "And that's a sofa. There is nothing in this room- just furniture, and possibly one of the cats." And it's true- that's all that's in those rooms at night. I am free from fear of the things that were never there.
How horrible is it to have a child entertaining such horrible fears? How horrible is it to teach children that there are evil, invisible things everywhere which are all eager and waiting to do harm to them?
It is detestable.
This is just one of many reasons why I am glad to be an atheist. My children will never have such fears.
Growing up as a Roman Catholic, I was taught that there were invisible demons all around me. They would whisper evil things in my ear, watch me from corners, and crawl into my head to give me nightmares. Whenever I had a 'bad' thought, it was a demon causing it- not my own free will. Although scary movies could influence nightmares, they were still caused by demons. If I said "In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you demons to go back to Hell and leave me alone!" the demons would go away.
Or at least, that's what I was taught.
I did buy into it to some extent, though, because I've always had a very active imagination. I even used the 'go away in Christ's name' bit a few times, and it did make me feel better. (Of course, I don't anymore. Now, I fancy I'm punching whatever I dreamed about which caused me fear. If I beat up the imaginary motherfucker, it goes away quite nicely, and I feel a lot more powerful and in control because I'm the one that defeated it.)
I did believe, to some extent, that bad thoughts could be caused by demons, until I got to be... oh, eight or nine or so. It never seemed literally true to me- more like a metaphor, like in cartoons, where there's an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They symbolized a conflict happening in one's head. But for me, there was never an angel on my other shoulder. It was always a naughty thought verses its possible ramifications, being weighed inside my head to see whether or not it was worth it to indulge in my mischief. I knew it was all me, all my thoughts, and that there were no demons actually whispering in my ear. I knew that, even when I believed.
I also believed that God could hear me. Whether or not he could hear my thoughts was never clear. I taunted him, teased him, dissed him, ridiculed him, and dared him to show himself or punish me when I was thinking naughty things. But, see, the thing is, he never did. I knew that in the bible, it said that I should not be having many of the thoughts I had; that they were evil and harmful and that I was committing dozens of mental sins every day. The thing is, though, I never felt guilty for thinking these things. Not once. I knew I should, and occasionally that bothered me, but when it came down to it, they were my bloody thoughts, and no one could have any way about what went on inside my head. Not even God, who didn't seem to mind me thinking about those naughty, sinful things anyway. Since he never punished me, I figured he understood. After all, he'd supposedly made me in the first place.
The biggest thing that bothers me, though, is this: I've always been afraid of the dark. It's a common enough fear; nothing to be ashamed of. But, see, I used to believe that there were demons all over the place when it was dark. I'd conjure up all these horrifying images of bears and hounds and mutant animals with sharp fangs, red eyes, and black hair or fur- always black- and sharp claws, waiting there in the darkness, crouching and ready to spring, to run after me at any moment and devour me. Every time I had to walk through my house at night, my heart would be pounding double-time every time I had to rush past a darkened room, for fear that its inhabiting demons would chase me and maul my body.
Once I became an atheist, I suddenly stopped being afraid. "That's a chair," I'd think. And it was- a harmless chair. "And that's a sofa. There is nothing in this room- just furniture, and possibly one of the cats." And it's true- that's all that's in those rooms at night. I am free from fear of the things that were never there.
How horrible is it to have a child entertaining such horrible fears? How horrible is it to teach children that there are evil, invisible things everywhere which are all eager and waiting to do harm to them?
It is detestable.
This is just one of many reasons why I am glad to be an atheist. My children will never have such fears.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
God is an Abusive Spouse
Dear Internet,
It is my hypothesis that one reason people find it so difficult to break away from religion, especially the Abrahamic religions, is that they have an abused-spouse mentality.
Women who are abused by their spouses often will not leave their husbands because they still "love" their husbands, and they believe that their husbands love them. Their husbands usually go through cycles of being verbally and even physically abusive, making the wife feel helpless, worthless, and beaten, and cycles of being extremely nice and generous and 'loving'.
In the bible, there is a repeated theme that we humans need God. It tells us over and over how much better God is, how much stronger and smarter and nicer, and calls us sheep. Sheep are notoriously stupid animals who do indeed need a shepherd; it says in the bible that we are the flock of Jesus and that he is our good shepherd. God tells us how sinful and unworthy we are. He requires us to repent for the thousands of sins we commit every day. He keeps his followers in a constant state of feeling helpless, worthless, and beaten.
And yet he is a good God. He loves everybody. We are his chosen people, the light of the world and whatnot. This is the part of the cycle where the loving husband showers us with gifts and compliments to make up for his constant threats of hellfire and damnation.
What makes it all worse is that these people are being abused by a spouse that doesn't exist.
It is my hypothesis that one reason people find it so difficult to break away from religion, especially the Abrahamic religions, is that they have an abused-spouse mentality.
Women who are abused by their spouses often will not leave their husbands because they still "love" their husbands, and they believe that their husbands love them. Their husbands usually go through cycles of being verbally and even physically abusive, making the wife feel helpless, worthless, and beaten, and cycles of being extremely nice and generous and 'loving'.
In the bible, there is a repeated theme that we humans need God. It tells us over and over how much better God is, how much stronger and smarter and nicer, and calls us sheep. Sheep are notoriously stupid animals who do indeed need a shepherd; it says in the bible that we are the flock of Jesus and that he is our good shepherd. God tells us how sinful and unworthy we are. He requires us to repent for the thousands of sins we commit every day. He keeps his followers in a constant state of feeling helpless, worthless, and beaten.
And yet he is a good God. He loves everybody. We are his chosen people, the light of the world and whatnot. This is the part of the cycle where the loving husband showers us with gifts and compliments to make up for his constant threats of hellfire and damnation.
What makes it all worse is that these people are being abused by a spouse that doesn't exist.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Trading Faith for Reason
Dear Internet,
I cannot believe that I used to believe Genesis. I honestly used to think that the creation story of Adam and Eve was true... but then when I was a teenager, I started questioning it. It didn't sit right with me to believe that the human race had been a product of repeated incest, as the bible implied. It was explained to me that there were other "first men and women" created all around the world, and that was the reason why every culture had its own creation story. I was told that all the creation stories were very similar, and asked how that could be unless God did it.
As a child, though, I loved dinosaurs. I read book after book for them. My appetite for scientific knowledge was insatiable. Looking back, I think it was my love for dinosaurs that led me towards Darwinism. I didn't realize it consciously as a child, but I had already accepted that dinosaurs evolved from one period to the next. I had already accepted that animals had evolved.
Why not, then, apply this to humans?
Well, like many other fundamentalist Christians, I found the idea that we had come from monkeys appalling. I asked the usual stupid questions, such as "why are there still monkeys?" and "where all all the transitional fossils?" without really looking into the problem. This is a tactic many Christians use: they pose a question and then say "exactly" and stop there, as if the question, instead of threatening their belief system, merely serves as more proof that they are right.
Unlike other Christians, I decided to investigate.
This is a part of my personality: whenever I am faced with a problem, I will not stop until I know everything there is to know about it. I question, I ponder, and I obsess. This has both been a good thing and a bad thing for me throughout life.
But I digress.
What is important is that this investigation eventually led me to accepting that Darwinism is true. Because it is. Evolution happened. It is a scientific fact. And now, more than ever, I am amazed and fascinated by the world around me. I do not feel as if I have lost anything-- my mind has been opened to the wonders of the universe, and I am turning to science to answer my questions. Never has the world seemed more beautiful, and never have I felt more alive.
I cannot believe that I used to believe Genesis. I honestly used to think that the creation story of Adam and Eve was true... but then when I was a teenager, I started questioning it. It didn't sit right with me to believe that the human race had been a product of repeated incest, as the bible implied. It was explained to me that there were other "first men and women" created all around the world, and that was the reason why every culture had its own creation story. I was told that all the creation stories were very similar, and asked how that could be unless God did it.
As a child, though, I loved dinosaurs. I read book after book for them. My appetite for scientific knowledge was insatiable. Looking back, I think it was my love for dinosaurs that led me towards Darwinism. I didn't realize it consciously as a child, but I had already accepted that dinosaurs evolved from one period to the next. I had already accepted that animals had evolved.
Why not, then, apply this to humans?
Well, like many other fundamentalist Christians, I found the idea that we had come from monkeys appalling. I asked the usual stupid questions, such as "why are there still monkeys?" and "where all all the transitional fossils?" without really looking into the problem. This is a tactic many Christians use: they pose a question and then say "exactly" and stop there, as if the question, instead of threatening their belief system, merely serves as more proof that they are right.
Unlike other Christians, I decided to investigate.
This is a part of my personality: whenever I am faced with a problem, I will not stop until I know everything there is to know about it. I question, I ponder, and I obsess. This has both been a good thing and a bad thing for me throughout life.
But I digress.
What is important is that this investigation eventually led me to accepting that Darwinism is true. Because it is. Evolution happened. It is a scientific fact. And now, more than ever, I am amazed and fascinated by the world around me. I do not feel as if I have lost anything-- my mind has been opened to the wonders of the universe, and I am turning to science to answer my questions. Never has the world seemed more beautiful, and never have I felt more alive.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I'm Surrounded By Idiots
Dear Internet,
This is a rant.
Most humans make me want to bang my head against a wall. Especially religious humans, egotistical humans, and humans from cities. When I meet egotistical religious humans from cities, my head just about explodes.
Also, what is with the decay of the English language?!
Okay. In order, backwards:
English: I blame a lot of the decay of English on pop culture. The lyrics to songs nowadays are barely even lyrics. It's basically slang, swearing, alcohol, and sex. Pop music makes me sick and sad. Why people actually listen to that shit is beyond me. It's barely even music. Also, less thought is being put into novels, and less and less people are actually READING anymore! Just look at Twilight! That was pretty much just a thought stream put down on paper (and not even a very GOOD thought stream, at that). The things people are reading most nowadays, especially the younger ones (our future), are text messages and anything on the internet. If anyone is trying to learn English, those are two of the WORST places to learn it.
I guess that's part of the reason I'm drawn so much to British entertainment lately, because over there in England, they actually use the English language! It's amazing! Seriously, though, have you ever sat there and compared American insults with British insults? There is no comparison, really. British insults are much more creative and interesting, and often, much more insulting because they can be so specific and aren't so overused. British novels, I've found, are also better-written than American novels, and a lot of my favorite authors either live in the UK or went there for inspiration. And then, of course, there's the genius of British comedy abundant on British television. Just look at Monty Python. That stuff is GOLD!
It's probably also the reason that I tend to lean towards older music. At least 80% of the music I listen to was written before 1990. The 60s, 70s, and 80s are, in my mind, the golden age of music. After that, music went to pot. (Pop music started going to pot in the 80s, and even some crappiness was detectable in the 70s, but it wasn't that bad, for the most part. Then, the 90s hit... Oh 90s... *facepalm* why???)
People from cities: I do not like cities. They're too crowded. I like to have my personal space, yes, but I also hate dealing with large quantities of people. I hate being in crowds. This is for two reasons: one, I have a thing about getting lost; two, I've found that most people tend to be of a much lower intelligence level than myself. More people = more idiots. There is nothing quite so frustrating as a giant group of idiots.
People from cities also have this fascinating habit of talking in slang and always being in a hurry. I realize that not all people who live in cities are like this, but a big enough majority is, and I'd like to avoid that majority. They annoy the FUCK out of me.
Egotistical people: Anyone with a huge ego annoys the fuck out of me, as well. The more egotistical, egocentric, narcissistic, and self-important someone is, the more they annoy me. There is just no talking to these people. They only care about themselves, and they take it for granted that you will care about them as well, and they expect everyone to treat them as if they are above the rest of the population. It makes me want to punch some sense into them- or maybe knock it into them with a sledgehammer or a baseball bat. Or, hell, just kill the mirror-worshippers! Do the world some good.
Religious people: Oh, God, religious people! (See what I did there?)
If one more person says the word "prayer" to me today, I'm going to punch them in the face!
I'm not one for hate or violence, but these people just drive me up a wall. They think they're being smart when they invoke circular reasoning and quote their precious holy books. In the worst cases, it is literally impossible to prove to them that they are wrong. It is sickeningly easy to prove them wrong on a multitude of points, but trying to prove to THEM that they are wrong is like trying to push a rhinoceros up a hill with a toothpick. They absolutely refuse to listen to any views opposing their own.
It's not that I'm antisocial, or even that I'm shy. I greatly enjoy the company of my friends and others who are entertaining and intelligent. But you can see why I tend to avoid people in general. It's because they're all pus-brained twats!
This is a rant.
Most humans make me want to bang my head against a wall. Especially religious humans, egotistical humans, and humans from cities. When I meet egotistical religious humans from cities, my head just about explodes.
Also, what is with the decay of the English language?!
Okay. In order, backwards:
English: I blame a lot of the decay of English on pop culture. The lyrics to songs nowadays are barely even lyrics. It's basically slang, swearing, alcohol, and sex. Pop music makes me sick and sad. Why people actually listen to that shit is beyond me. It's barely even music. Also, less thought is being put into novels, and less and less people are actually READING anymore! Just look at Twilight! That was pretty much just a thought stream put down on paper (and not even a very GOOD thought stream, at that). The things people are reading most nowadays, especially the younger ones (our future), are text messages and anything on the internet. If anyone is trying to learn English, those are two of the WORST places to learn it.
I guess that's part of the reason I'm drawn so much to British entertainment lately, because over there in England, they actually use the English language! It's amazing! Seriously, though, have you ever sat there and compared American insults with British insults? There is no comparison, really. British insults are much more creative and interesting, and often, much more insulting because they can be so specific and aren't so overused. British novels, I've found, are also better-written than American novels, and a lot of my favorite authors either live in the UK or went there for inspiration. And then, of course, there's the genius of British comedy abundant on British television. Just look at Monty Python. That stuff is GOLD!
It's probably also the reason that I tend to lean towards older music. At least 80% of the music I listen to was written before 1990. The 60s, 70s, and 80s are, in my mind, the golden age of music. After that, music went to pot. (Pop music started going to pot in the 80s, and even some crappiness was detectable in the 70s, but it wasn't that bad, for the most part. Then, the 90s hit... Oh 90s... *facepalm* why???)
People from cities: I do not like cities. They're too crowded. I like to have my personal space, yes, but I also hate dealing with large quantities of people. I hate being in crowds. This is for two reasons: one, I have a thing about getting lost; two, I've found that most people tend to be of a much lower intelligence level than myself. More people = more idiots. There is nothing quite so frustrating as a giant group of idiots.
People from cities also have this fascinating habit of talking in slang and always being in a hurry. I realize that not all people who live in cities are like this, but a big enough majority is, and I'd like to avoid that majority. They annoy the FUCK out of me.
Egotistical people: Anyone with a huge ego annoys the fuck out of me, as well. The more egotistical, egocentric, narcissistic, and self-important someone is, the more they annoy me. There is just no talking to these people. They only care about themselves, and they take it for granted that you will care about them as well, and they expect everyone to treat them as if they are above the rest of the population. It makes me want to punch some sense into them- or maybe knock it into them with a sledgehammer or a baseball bat. Or, hell, just kill the mirror-worshippers! Do the world some good.
Religious people: Oh, God, religious people! (See what I did there?)
If one more person says the word "prayer" to me today, I'm going to punch them in the face!
I'm not one for hate or violence, but these people just drive me up a wall. They think they're being smart when they invoke circular reasoning and quote their precious holy books. In the worst cases, it is literally impossible to prove to them that they are wrong. It is sickeningly easy to prove them wrong on a multitude of points, but trying to prove to THEM that they are wrong is like trying to push a rhinoceros up a hill with a toothpick. They absolutely refuse to listen to any views opposing their own.
It's not that I'm antisocial, or even that I'm shy. I greatly enjoy the company of my friends and others who are entertaining and intelligent. But you can see why I tend to avoid people in general. It's because they're all pus-brained twats!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Too Big A Heart
Dear Internet,
It pains me to see how many good people believe in Christianity. There are so many kind-hearted, friendly, loving, well-meaning people who honestly believe that the Christian religion is true, and it breaks my heart knowing that they all believe in a lie. Not just a lie-- a pack of lies, a book of lies, centuries of lies, the biggest lies ever told! That they devote so much time and effort and energy to something that's not there... that they want so much to help other people but they think that prayer will help, and so they pray instead of doing something genuinely helpful...
And I'd gladly be the one to shatter their illusions, but I know that it would break all their hearts. It would confuse them, hurt them, send them into a spiral of sadness and distrust. In the end, many of them would hate me and erase what I had said from their memories, even though I would have spoken the truth. Were it possible to tell them all, to wake them all up and prove that there is no god, without them attacking me and collapsing into depression, just imagine what the world could be like!
Hell (which doesn't exist), if I could tell every religious person in the world that there is no god, that their religion is a lie, and if they would all listen to me and accept what I had to say, imagine what would happen! Countries would unite! People would no longer have to set aside many important moral differences because those moral differences would cease to exist without the dictation of religions telling them what is right and what is wrong! Everywhere, man would reach out to aid his fellow man! Money would be donated to help the less fortunate. Wars would be less frequent. Accounts of history would begin to agree with each other more and more.
But although a time may come when religion is once and for all finally eradicated from the minds of humans, it is not going to happen for at least years, more probably decades, or even centuries. People want so much to believe that they are right; that is why similar religions have not merged and never will, such as Judaism and Islam. People want so much to believe that there is an afterlife, that they have a soul and a father in the sky who is looking out for them constantly, who loves them and has their best interests in mind. People want to believe that they have something to fall back on when they make a bad decision. People do not want to let go of their religions.
And so, although I could tell them all that there is no god, I cannot; they would not listen. And those that would listen would be heartbroken.
Sometimes I wish I was colder, that I could look into the faces of those sweet, well-meaning, friendly people I see every Sunday and tell them point-blank that they're wasting their time; that they should do what they can while they're still alive because there is no afterlife; there is no god-- but I can't. I'm just not hard-hearted enough to do that.
Wishing and praying are pointless things; I know. And so writing and publishing this will accomplish virtually nothing. I know this... but maybe there's someone out there who will read this and get something out of it. Maybe I'll have helped somebody, reached out to somebody.
If not, at least I've helped myself by letting out these feelings. It does no good to keep them locked inside.
It pains me to see how many good people believe in Christianity. There are so many kind-hearted, friendly, loving, well-meaning people who honestly believe that the Christian religion is true, and it breaks my heart knowing that they all believe in a lie. Not just a lie-- a pack of lies, a book of lies, centuries of lies, the biggest lies ever told! That they devote so much time and effort and energy to something that's not there... that they want so much to help other people but they think that prayer will help, and so they pray instead of doing something genuinely helpful...
And I'd gladly be the one to shatter their illusions, but I know that it would break all their hearts. It would confuse them, hurt them, send them into a spiral of sadness and distrust. In the end, many of them would hate me and erase what I had said from their memories, even though I would have spoken the truth. Were it possible to tell them all, to wake them all up and prove that there is no god, without them attacking me and collapsing into depression, just imagine what the world could be like!
Hell (which doesn't exist), if I could tell every religious person in the world that there is no god, that their religion is a lie, and if they would all listen to me and accept what I had to say, imagine what would happen! Countries would unite! People would no longer have to set aside many important moral differences because those moral differences would cease to exist without the dictation of religions telling them what is right and what is wrong! Everywhere, man would reach out to aid his fellow man! Money would be donated to help the less fortunate. Wars would be less frequent. Accounts of history would begin to agree with each other more and more.
But although a time may come when religion is once and for all finally eradicated from the minds of humans, it is not going to happen for at least years, more probably decades, or even centuries. People want so much to believe that they are right; that is why similar religions have not merged and never will, such as Judaism and Islam. People want so much to believe that there is an afterlife, that they have a soul and a father in the sky who is looking out for them constantly, who loves them and has their best interests in mind. People want to believe that they have something to fall back on when they make a bad decision. People do not want to let go of their religions.
And so, although I could tell them all that there is no god, I cannot; they would not listen. And those that would listen would be heartbroken.
Sometimes I wish I was colder, that I could look into the faces of those sweet, well-meaning, friendly people I see every Sunday and tell them point-blank that they're wasting their time; that they should do what they can while they're still alive because there is no afterlife; there is no god-- but I can't. I'm just not hard-hearted enough to do that.
Wishing and praying are pointless things; I know. And so writing and publishing this will accomplish virtually nothing. I know this... but maybe there's someone out there who will read this and get something out of it. Maybe I'll have helped somebody, reached out to somebody.
If not, at least I've helped myself by letting out these feelings. It does no good to keep them locked inside.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Hold the phone-
Dear Internet,
So, wait a minute. In the story of the tower of babble, all the humans on the earth spoke the same language and were working together to accomplish something great. God saw that and decided to scramble everyone's brains so that they all spoke different languages. So... God is against the unification of the human race? God doesn't want us to come together, put aside our differences, and accomplish great things?
Creationists, Christians, Catholics... do you guys READ your fucking Bibles?!
So, wait a minute. In the story of the tower of babble, all the humans on the earth spoke the same language and were working together to accomplish something great. God saw that and decided to scramble everyone's brains so that they all spoke different languages. So... God is against the unification of the human race? God doesn't want us to come together, put aside our differences, and accomplish great things?
Creationists, Christians, Catholics... do you guys READ your fucking Bibles?!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
What I Have Learned Thusfar
Dear Internet,
I have learned much in these past couple of months. You remember my first agnostic entry, Skepticism and Catholicism. Well, since then I have been researching many fields, such as biology, philosophy, history, archaeology, and mythology, and I have come to the conclusion that the Bible is a work of fiction.
Furthermore, I am becoming convinced that Jesus was not a historical figure. There are far too many parallels between his life and the lives of Buddha and Mithra for me to believe anymore.
Many of my questions have been answered, and they have all been answered by atheists. Some of these atheists were philosophers, some scientists, some historians, some archaeologists, some anthropologists. There were comedians, studiers of folklore, and even humble YouTubers. All together, though, there is no doubt left in my mind: I have become an atheist.
I am still studying the origins of Christianity, looking at other religions for basis of comparison, and investigating to find the truth. In order to come out to my very Catholic family, I am going to need to have a strong, decisive case and a wide base of knowledge to defend my position. I anticipate a very negative reaction, and I further anticipate that I will have to hide my beliefs from my younger siblings. In fact, I expect this to happen.
If you remember, I said that I did not believe in evolution or the big bang theory. I still have yet to be convinced of either, but evidence is beginning to point more to the possibility of these theories, and evolution is, in fact, considered by most scientists to be a fact, not a theory. I intend to read the works of Darwin and look at books on extinct creatures. I shall also, at some point, be researching the big bang theory and evidence backing it up.
I mean to leave no stone left unturned. I need to know what the truth is.
I am afraid, I confess, to come out to my family. It may yet be months before I do.
But to you, Internet, I will be entirely honest: I am an atheist.
It occurs to me that I have changed much over the years.
In middle school, I hated homosexuality. I thought it was stupid. It made no sense to me why people would choose to be gay. Now, I have learned that homosexuals are, in fact, born that way, and I have become supportive of them. My lack of understanding as a younger person led me to curiosity and the desire to understand.
In middle school, I had questions about my faith- I had always had questions- but I still thought that other religions were stupid. It made me sad and upset when people did not agree with my religious views. Then as I became older, I came up with more and more questions, and late this past summer, the questions drew to a head and led me down the path to atheism.
In middle school, I thought that come high school, I would be tall, thin, pretty, blonde, and engaged. Yet here I am now, still a size 12 jeans, still the same height, still with brown hair, and having lost the only boy I ever truly loved because we grew apart.
The past me would never have expected how things would turn out. The past me would have never believed I'd be a supporter of homosexuals, a proud geek/nerd, or, most shockingly of all, an atheist.
"Life is what happens when you are making other plans."
Truer words have never been spoken.
I have learned much in these past couple of months. You remember my first agnostic entry, Skepticism and Catholicism. Well, since then I have been researching many fields, such as biology, philosophy, history, archaeology, and mythology, and I have come to the conclusion that the Bible is a work of fiction.
Furthermore, I am becoming convinced that Jesus was not a historical figure. There are far too many parallels between his life and the lives of Buddha and Mithra for me to believe anymore.
Many of my questions have been answered, and they have all been answered by atheists. Some of these atheists were philosophers, some scientists, some historians, some archaeologists, some anthropologists. There were comedians, studiers of folklore, and even humble YouTubers. All together, though, there is no doubt left in my mind: I have become an atheist.
I am still studying the origins of Christianity, looking at other religions for basis of comparison, and investigating to find the truth. In order to come out to my very Catholic family, I am going to need to have a strong, decisive case and a wide base of knowledge to defend my position. I anticipate a very negative reaction, and I further anticipate that I will have to hide my beliefs from my younger siblings. In fact, I expect this to happen.
If you remember, I said that I did not believe in evolution or the big bang theory. I still have yet to be convinced of either, but evidence is beginning to point more to the possibility of these theories, and evolution is, in fact, considered by most scientists to be a fact, not a theory. I intend to read the works of Darwin and look at books on extinct creatures. I shall also, at some point, be researching the big bang theory and evidence backing it up.
I mean to leave no stone left unturned. I need to know what the truth is.
I am afraid, I confess, to come out to my family. It may yet be months before I do.
But to you, Internet, I will be entirely honest: I am an atheist.
It occurs to me that I have changed much over the years.
In middle school, I hated homosexuality. I thought it was stupid. It made no sense to me why people would choose to be gay. Now, I have learned that homosexuals are, in fact, born that way, and I have become supportive of them. My lack of understanding as a younger person led me to curiosity and the desire to understand.
In middle school, I had questions about my faith- I had always had questions- but I still thought that other religions were stupid. It made me sad and upset when people did not agree with my religious views. Then as I became older, I came up with more and more questions, and late this past summer, the questions drew to a head and led me down the path to atheism.
In middle school, I thought that come high school, I would be tall, thin, pretty, blonde, and engaged. Yet here I am now, still a size 12 jeans, still the same height, still with brown hair, and having lost the only boy I ever truly loved because we grew apart.
The past me would never have expected how things would turn out. The past me would have never believed I'd be a supporter of homosexuals, a proud geek/nerd, or, most shockingly of all, an atheist.
"Life is what happens when you are making other plans."
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Finally Learning
Dear Internet,
For a while, I was afraid to ask questions. I thought that asking questions meant that I was stupid. I thought that revealing I didn't know something would make me look bad.
I realized about a year ago that this was stupid and I started questioning everything. I found I had curiosity pent up inside me from months, possibly years of not asking any questions. And then I began to realize that I doubt everything about the religion I was raised on.
Now that I've gotten into heavily questioning religion in general, debating metaphysics, researching philosophical debates, and looking into the viewpoints of atheists versus theists, I've realized that the religion I had was partially responsible for the hibernation of my curiosity. Remember the tree of knowledge in the creation story? Remember how they were told not to eat from the tree of knowledge because it was a sin? I just realized that the Catholic church, heck- the Christian church in general- has been telling me since I was born that knowledge is bad. More specifically, that the pursuit of knowledge is a sin.
Well, since I don't believe in sins anymore, I'm finally learning. I'm finally finding the answers to so many questions I've built up over the years. And do know who's answering them?
Scientists.
For a while, I was afraid to ask questions. I thought that asking questions meant that I was stupid. I thought that revealing I didn't know something would make me look bad.
I realized about a year ago that this was stupid and I started questioning everything. I found I had curiosity pent up inside me from months, possibly years of not asking any questions. And then I began to realize that I doubt everything about the religion I was raised on.
Now that I've gotten into heavily questioning religion in general, debating metaphysics, researching philosophical debates, and looking into the viewpoints of atheists versus theists, I've realized that the religion I had was partially responsible for the hibernation of my curiosity. Remember the tree of knowledge in the creation story? Remember how they were told not to eat from the tree of knowledge because it was a sin? I just realized that the Catholic church, heck- the Christian church in general- has been telling me since I was born that knowledge is bad. More specifically, that the pursuit of knowledge is a sin.
Well, since I don't believe in sins anymore, I'm finally learning. I'm finally finding the answers to so many questions I've built up over the years. And do know who's answering them?
Scientists.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Thanksgiving
Dear Internet,
Thanksgiving is in just a couple of days, and I have never looked forward to it less... but then, I've never really looked forward to it at all, so I guess that's not saying much. I just never really understood the appeal- all your relatives get together under one roof, which never has enough room to fit you all, and all the family drama breaks out, certain relatives that can't stand each other make it very obvious to the most casual observer so that even children are sucked into the drama, and in general it's just melodramatic and frustrating. In addition to that, I don't even like cranberry sauce, and I'm a vegetarian, so I don't eat the turkey. I couldn't care less about the turkey. And the turkey is the central part of the meal.
Do you want to know what else I don't like about Thanksgiving? The whole premise of the holiday is to eat. That's America for you. And the food isn't even authentic- they ate completely different food at the first Thanksgiving. (I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure google has it somewhere.)
I just don't see the appeal.
Thanksgiving is in just a couple of days, and I have never looked forward to it less... but then, I've never really looked forward to it at all, so I guess that's not saying much. I just never really understood the appeal- all your relatives get together under one roof, which never has enough room to fit you all, and all the family drama breaks out, certain relatives that can't stand each other make it very obvious to the most casual observer so that even children are sucked into the drama, and in general it's just melodramatic and frustrating. In addition to that, I don't even like cranberry sauce, and I'm a vegetarian, so I don't eat the turkey. I couldn't care less about the turkey. And the turkey is the central part of the meal.
Do you want to know what else I don't like about Thanksgiving? The whole premise of the holiday is to eat. That's America for you. And the food isn't even authentic- they ate completely different food at the first Thanksgiving. (I don't remember what it was, but I'm sure google has it somewhere.)
I just don't see the appeal.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Politics make me sick.
Dear Internet,
Why do people insist on bashing Sarah Palin left and right? I don't understand. Most of these people don't even know what her real stance is on any political issues, and it's out of sheer ignorance. Too many people are content with listening to the mainstream media, which has a heavy liberal bias, and which seriously misrepresents practically everything when it comes to politics. What the fuck is the mainstream media's problem with conservatives anyway?
I support Sarah Palin. I also support gay rights. Do I back her on her stance against gay rights? No. Do I think she is going to ruin America if she becomes President, just because of her stance against gay rights? Well of course not!!
I wrote an entire 5-page essay on this topic last year, about how the mainstream media is muzzling conservatives, misrepresenting our ideals and values, and ignoring anything which does not suit their views. They demonize conservatives, attack them left and right with so many logical fallacies, I'd need to use tally marks to keep score, because I can't write down the names (of the fallacies) that quickly. (And I'm a pretty damned fast writer, too!)
People of America: WAKE UP, do some research, and do some soul-searching, for goshsakes!! Sarah Palin is not who the media has made her out to be!
Why do people insist on bashing Sarah Palin left and right? I don't understand. Most of these people don't even know what her real stance is on any political issues, and it's out of sheer ignorance. Too many people are content with listening to the mainstream media, which has a heavy liberal bias, and which seriously misrepresents practically everything when it comes to politics. What the fuck is the mainstream media's problem with conservatives anyway?
I support Sarah Palin. I also support gay rights. Do I back her on her stance against gay rights? No. Do I think she is going to ruin America if she becomes President, just because of her stance against gay rights? Well of course not!!
I wrote an entire 5-page essay on this topic last year, about how the mainstream media is muzzling conservatives, misrepresenting our ideals and values, and ignoring anything which does not suit their views. They demonize conservatives, attack them left and right with so many logical fallacies, I'd need to use tally marks to keep score, because I can't write down the names (of the fallacies) that quickly. (And I'm a pretty damned fast writer, too!)
People of America: WAKE UP, do some research, and do some soul-searching, for goshsakes!! Sarah Palin is not who the media has made her out to be!
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Alcohol
Dear Internet,
From a young age, I was taught that all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol, are bad for one's health and should be avoided at all costs. I refused, as a second-grader, to drink church wine because it is alcohol and I was only eight years old, so technically, I figured, it was illegal for me to drink it (and besides, it smelled unappetizing). That in mind, I decided never to consume any alcohol in my life. I knew my mom used it in soup recipes for flavor, and onion rings, one of my favorite restaurant foods, are often deep-fried in beer batter. However, I was assured that any alcohol used in cooking was boiled off.
Recently, though, I stumbled upon an article from a reliable source saying that not all of the alcohol is cooked off, no matter how long you cook something-- and boiled liquids, such as soups, have the highest alcohol content- the lowest amount of alcohol burned off in cooking. So, it seems I have already accidentally consumed some alcohol already.
I have also been through emotional turmoil as of late, arguably the worst emotional turmoil of my life (I have had a few such incidents/stages), and I was tempted to take up drinking to blow off some frustration. I was not entirely serious, though, and decided almost instantly that drinking would be a bad idea. At least until I turn twenty-one, and am legally allowed to drink.
Getting drunk is obviously a bad idea, and I intend to never allow myself to do that, no matter how depressed I get. However, I am seriously considering drinking after all, when I am legally allowed to. I would only be interested in drinks which did not actually taste like alcohol and which are not purely alcohol- I'm thinking more along the lines of a drink that is "spiked" with just a bit of alcohol.
I may change my mind and stick with the not drinking thing for life, but right now... I am beginning to think that I will not stick to that after all.
Cheers.
From a young age, I was taught that all drugs, including tobacco and alcohol, are bad for one's health and should be avoided at all costs. I refused, as a second-grader, to drink church wine because it is alcohol and I was only eight years old, so technically, I figured, it was illegal for me to drink it (and besides, it smelled unappetizing). That in mind, I decided never to consume any alcohol in my life. I knew my mom used it in soup recipes for flavor, and onion rings, one of my favorite restaurant foods, are often deep-fried in beer batter. However, I was assured that any alcohol used in cooking was boiled off.
Recently, though, I stumbled upon an article from a reliable source saying that not all of the alcohol is cooked off, no matter how long you cook something-- and boiled liquids, such as soups, have the highest alcohol content- the lowest amount of alcohol burned off in cooking. So, it seems I have already accidentally consumed some alcohol already.
I have also been through emotional turmoil as of late, arguably the worst emotional turmoil of my life (I have had a few such incidents/stages), and I was tempted to take up drinking to blow off some frustration. I was not entirely serious, though, and decided almost instantly that drinking would be a bad idea. At least until I turn twenty-one, and am legally allowed to drink.
Getting drunk is obviously a bad idea, and I intend to never allow myself to do that, no matter how depressed I get. However, I am seriously considering drinking after all, when I am legally allowed to. I would only be interested in drinks which did not actually taste like alcohol and which are not purely alcohol- I'm thinking more along the lines of a drink that is "spiked" with just a bit of alcohol.
I may change my mind and stick with the not drinking thing for life, but right now... I am beginning to think that I will not stick to that after all.
Cheers.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
This is for all the girls out there
Dear Internet,
This is to all the girls who have ever been hurt, who have ever thought they weren't good enough, who have ever been let down, who have ever had their heart broken, who have ever been lied to or cheated on, who have ever felt like they had no one they could talk to, who have ever felt depressed or worthless or frustrated, who have ever wished they could turn back time. If you are a girl and this has never happened to you, you are either very lucky or you are lying to yourself.
Boys suck.
There are good guys out there, but they're awfully hard to find. Unfortunately, most guys are jerks. They toy around with girls' feelings, they're shallow and egocentric, and they think they're the shit. And they're fucking EVERYWHERE.
If you've ever been hurt by a guy like that, it's not your fault. It's his. Be mad at him. It's okay. Don't do anything illegal, but do talk about your feelings. Let it out. Scream if you have to. Physical activity, such as aerobic exercise, is a great outlet as well. Don't keep that anger, that hurt, locked up inside. Let it out!
Think about yourself. Think about those that love you the most- is it your mother? your best friend(s)? a teacher? Whoever it is, make a list of all the compliments they've ever given you. Think of the best compliments you've ever gotten. Bask in that glow.
Ladies, I don't care if you're black or white, thin or curvy, nerdy or popular, tall or short, blonde or brunette-- whoever you are, however you look, you need to realize that you are beautiful, and you deserve to be loved. If a boy doesn't love you truly and deeply, he doesn't deserve you. If a boy pushes you around and takes advantage of you, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve way better than that boy. You deserve a boy who will listen to you, who will pay attention to you when you need it most, who will accept all your flaws and tell you in his own way, every day, how much you mean to him.
Boys are funny that way-- sometimes it's flowers, sometimes it's kind words, sometimes it's standing up for you, sometimes it's holding a door open-- but if you look, there are little things he will do every day to show that he really loves you. That's how you know he truly loves you. You are precious to him. He will treat you as the treasure you are. True love heals. It nourishes. It makes you glow.
No matter how much the boy who broke your heart meant/means to you, the fact is, he broke your heart. He was probably a jerk to you in a thousand different ways. He's not worth it, honey. I know you're hurting right now. But you need to realize that love does not hurt you. Love heals you. You need to let it go. Move on. Find the one who really loves you.
It is my firm belief that everyone, everywhere, regardless of gender, ethnicity, physical appearance, or any other defining characteristic, deserves to be loved.
And girls, never underestimate the value of friendship. Keep your friends close at all times. Talk to them about your problems. They want to help you. The more you confide in your friends, the stronger the friendships will grow. You can depend on your true friends. Never forget that.
VAGINAS UNITE!!!
This is to all the girls who have ever been hurt, who have ever thought they weren't good enough, who have ever been let down, who have ever had their heart broken, who have ever been lied to or cheated on, who have ever felt like they had no one they could talk to, who have ever felt depressed or worthless or frustrated, who have ever wished they could turn back time. If you are a girl and this has never happened to you, you are either very lucky or you are lying to yourself.
Boys suck.
There are good guys out there, but they're awfully hard to find. Unfortunately, most guys are jerks. They toy around with girls' feelings, they're shallow and egocentric, and they think they're the shit. And they're fucking EVERYWHERE.
If you've ever been hurt by a guy like that, it's not your fault. It's his. Be mad at him. It's okay. Don't do anything illegal, but do talk about your feelings. Let it out. Scream if you have to. Physical activity, such as aerobic exercise, is a great outlet as well. Don't keep that anger, that hurt, locked up inside. Let it out!
Think about yourself. Think about those that love you the most- is it your mother? your best friend(s)? a teacher? Whoever it is, make a list of all the compliments they've ever given you. Think of the best compliments you've ever gotten. Bask in that glow.
Ladies, I don't care if you're black or white, thin or curvy, nerdy or popular, tall or short, blonde or brunette-- whoever you are, however you look, you need to realize that you are beautiful, and you deserve to be loved. If a boy doesn't love you truly and deeply, he doesn't deserve you. If a boy pushes you around and takes advantage of you, he doesn't deserve you. You deserve way better than that boy. You deserve a boy who will listen to you, who will pay attention to you when you need it most, who will accept all your flaws and tell you in his own way, every day, how much you mean to him.
Boys are funny that way-- sometimes it's flowers, sometimes it's kind words, sometimes it's standing up for you, sometimes it's holding a door open-- but if you look, there are little things he will do every day to show that he really loves you. That's how you know he truly loves you. You are precious to him. He will treat you as the treasure you are. True love heals. It nourishes. It makes you glow.
No matter how much the boy who broke your heart meant/means to you, the fact is, he broke your heart. He was probably a jerk to you in a thousand different ways. He's not worth it, honey. I know you're hurting right now. But you need to realize that love does not hurt you. Love heals you. You need to let it go. Move on. Find the one who really loves you.
It is my firm belief that everyone, everywhere, regardless of gender, ethnicity, physical appearance, or any other defining characteristic, deserves to be loved.
And girls, never underestimate the value of friendship. Keep your friends close at all times. Talk to them about your problems. They want to help you. The more you confide in your friends, the stronger the friendships will grow. You can depend on your true friends. Never forget that.
VAGINAS UNITE!!!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Animals: Are We So Different?
Dear Internet,
I confess that I have not actually begun my analysis of the Bible yet. I have had other things of more immediate necessity which I have needed to take care of. Nevertheless, a new subject for discussion has become rather more concrete in my mind, if only as an idea, and that is animals.
Much of the Bible, and even much of science, focuses on the assumption that we are the only "intelligent" life forms. Aliens aside (that's another topic for another time), humans consider themselves as being apart from animals, even though we are closely linked to some of them. Even evolutionists (not all, but a lot of them) assume that humans are different from animals, that we are special somehow. This is yet another idea that humans have formed because of egocentricity.
There have been studies that cats and dogs show the same six basic emotions that humans do. There have been incidents where monkeys have learned sign language. There have been elephants taught to paint and horses taught to count. It has been found that cats and dogs, and many other domesticated animals, react to the tone of a human's voice.
I propose that animals are more intelligent than we are giving them credit for. I think that animals, although not as "intelligent" as humans, are, in fact, sentient beings who react to their surroundings not just out of instinct, but out of thought processes.
Of course, their level of cognitive functioning is directly linked with the size of their brains. Some are more intelligent than others.
But how can we say that we are so different from them, so special? Pigs are, after all, almost identical to humans when dissected. All the same organs in all the same places, and almost exactly the same size. And chimpanzees are very closely related to us genetically.
So how can humans claim that we have souls, that we are the only life forms on this planet with souls and that no other creature on this planet is going to Heaven, that we were created in the form of God? Does that not sound just a bit egocentric? We have no proof of what God looks like. We have no proof that there even is a God, let alone Heaven and souls.
Humans are self-centered by nature, so it is not too surprising that many of them have believed such things for thousands of years. In fact, it is probably this self-centered tendency which has propagated the beliefs for so long.
I wish I could have said more on the matter, and made more sense, but I'm very tired today, so I'm going to leave it at that. I just wanted to share those thoughts.
As always, to any readers out there, I strongly encourage you to take everything I say with a grain of salt, challenge it with your own minds and ideas, and form your own beliefs.
Until next time...
I confess that I have not actually begun my analysis of the Bible yet. I have had other things of more immediate necessity which I have needed to take care of. Nevertheless, a new subject for discussion has become rather more concrete in my mind, if only as an idea, and that is animals.
Much of the Bible, and even much of science, focuses on the assumption that we are the only "intelligent" life forms. Aliens aside (that's another topic for another time), humans consider themselves as being apart from animals, even though we are closely linked to some of them. Even evolutionists (not all, but a lot of them) assume that humans are different from animals, that we are special somehow. This is yet another idea that humans have formed because of egocentricity.
There have been studies that cats and dogs show the same six basic emotions that humans do. There have been incidents where monkeys have learned sign language. There have been elephants taught to paint and horses taught to count. It has been found that cats and dogs, and many other domesticated animals, react to the tone of a human's voice.
I propose that animals are more intelligent than we are giving them credit for. I think that animals, although not as "intelligent" as humans, are, in fact, sentient beings who react to their surroundings not just out of instinct, but out of thought processes.
Of course, their level of cognitive functioning is directly linked with the size of their brains. Some are more intelligent than others.
But how can we say that we are so different from them, so special? Pigs are, after all, almost identical to humans when dissected. All the same organs in all the same places, and almost exactly the same size. And chimpanzees are very closely related to us genetically.
So how can humans claim that we have souls, that we are the only life forms on this planet with souls and that no other creature on this planet is going to Heaven, that we were created in the form of God? Does that not sound just a bit egocentric? We have no proof of what God looks like. We have no proof that there even is a God, let alone Heaven and souls.
Humans are self-centered by nature, so it is not too surprising that many of them have believed such things for thousands of years. In fact, it is probably this self-centered tendency which has propagated the beliefs for so long.
I wish I could have said more on the matter, and made more sense, but I'm very tired today, so I'm going to leave it at that. I just wanted to share those thoughts.
As always, to any readers out there, I strongly encourage you to take everything I say with a grain of salt, challenge it with your own minds and ideas, and form your own beliefs.
Until next time...
Friday, October 15, 2010
Opening My Veins
Dear Internet,
List of songs describing how I feel:
Gee, why have I been depressed lately. I wonder.
I will always love him, and there's not a damned thing I can do about it. And he doesn't care.
Except he DOES care about me. And he keeps talking to me from time to time, trying to be friends with me. But like the saying goes, that's like saying "I hit your dog with my car, but you can keep the body if you want."
List of songs describing how I feel:
- "What If" by Kate Winslet
- "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler
- "Dream On" by Aerosmith
- "Mama Mia" from the musical, Mama Mia
- "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles
- "If I Never Knew You" from Disney's Pocahontas
- "Broken Vow" by Josh Groban
- "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Heuston
- "Always" by Bon Jovi
- "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical, Wicked
- "Love Again" by Cascada
- "Live and Learn" from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle
- "Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne
- "It's Not Over" by Chris Daughtry
- "How It Used To Be" by Chris Daughtry
- "Unbreak My Heart" by Toni Braxton
- "To Where You Are" by Josh Groban
- "Open Arms" by Journey
- "Seperate Ways" by Journey
- "I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi
Gee, why have I been depressed lately. I wonder.
I will always love him, and there's not a damned thing I can do about it. And he doesn't care.
Except he DOES care about me. And he keeps talking to me from time to time, trying to be friends with me. But like the saying goes, that's like saying "I hit your dog with my car, but you can keep the body if you want."
Epic Bible Study
Dear Internet,
"Epic" refers not to something super-awesome, as you would have people believe, but actually refers to something very long, somewhat boring, and at times rather dark and depressing. Examples of epics are "The Odyssey" and "Lord of the Rings." Using the correct definition of epic, I am embarking on an epic study of the ENTIRE BIBLE, starting today.
The particular bible that I'm using is called 'Student Bible For Catholics', and it has questions in the beginning like "Does God Really Exist?" and "Does Hell Really Exist?" and "My Buddy Is Gay"; stuff like that. So far, I've read those three... and I must say, Catholic arguments against atheism are somewhat lacking. They rely so much more on faith than logic, and they quote the bible a lot. Atheists don't believe in the Bible, so you may as well quote Grimm's Fairy Tales at them, because that's all the good you're doing.
Also, the answers to these questions are somewhat muddy... As I said, they rely a lot on the support of the Bible, but they also rely a lot on traditional faith. One good logical argument for the existence of God that I saw was "Evolutionists believe that we evolved from amoebas, but no one has yet told where the amoebas came from." An excellent question-- answered by neither side. The Catholics bank on the assumption that a divine being, "God", created everything. (But if God is perfect and makes no mistakes, then why did evolution occur at all?) The scientists/evolutionists say "We haven't figured it out yet."
As far as Hell goes, they say that Hell is mentioned several times in the Bible; therefore it exists. Umm- what? NOT convincing. Also, they say that no one is going to Hell, because they have a paragraph-long quote from the Bible saying that Hell was never intended for humans; it was intended for Satan and his demons. In other words, no matter what we do or how warped we are, we are all going to Heaven. --This is NOT what the Catholic church has told me my whole life.
The questions and answers section has not been helpful to me AT ALL. All it has done is make me even more aware that the arguments for faith are very shaky and rely a lot on faith. I would liken it to someone with vision trying to tell someone blind what it is like to see a dolphin. The person with vision takes his eyesight very much for granted, and is stumped as to how to tell the blind person what the dolphin looks like. Furthermore, the blind person is wondering if the whole thing is pointless in the first place. After all, the blind person can't see the dolphin. So the blind person begins to lose interest as the seeing person fumbles for some sort of description, and finally ends up describing the dolphin in terms that only the seeing person understands.
Christians believe that they have seen the light and that those who haven't can if they want to... which is why I made the seeing man the converter. Still, it's not a perfect analogy.
I shall be examining every book of the Bible one by one. Some, I will deem not even worth reading because they are pure fiction. Others, I will be examining very closely and deciding what I can and cannot trust as even being possibly true. Finally, and ultimately, I will decide whether or not I am a Christian, and I will give all my reasons for it, calmly and logically.
I may end up, if my notes are long enough, publishing my works as a book, "Skepticism and Catholicism." If I do end up believing Catholicism, or at least Christianity in general, then I will use my real name as the author. If, however, I find that I am an atheist at the end of it all, I will have to use a pen name, because on the very off-chance that the book actually gains popularity and ends up on some sort of booklist, my parents are going to see it, and they are not going to be happy with me. As I am the peacemaker of my family, I would really prefer not to start any personal wars within it.
If you want, I can publish my results here... but look at it as a rough draft, and sometimes cliffnotes, because if I do decide to publish it, it would be awfully foolish to have the whole damned thing available free online to anyone who's looking for it.
So, for now, Internet, I bid you adieu.
"Epic" refers not to something super-awesome, as you would have people believe, but actually refers to something very long, somewhat boring, and at times rather dark and depressing. Examples of epics are "The Odyssey" and "Lord of the Rings." Using the correct definition of epic, I am embarking on an epic study of the ENTIRE BIBLE, starting today.
The particular bible that I'm using is called 'Student Bible For Catholics', and it has questions in the beginning like "Does God Really Exist?" and "Does Hell Really Exist?" and "My Buddy Is Gay"; stuff like that. So far, I've read those three... and I must say, Catholic arguments against atheism are somewhat lacking. They rely so much more on faith than logic, and they quote the bible a lot. Atheists don't believe in the Bible, so you may as well quote Grimm's Fairy Tales at them, because that's all the good you're doing.
Also, the answers to these questions are somewhat muddy... As I said, they rely a lot on the support of the Bible, but they also rely a lot on traditional faith. One good logical argument for the existence of God that I saw was "Evolutionists believe that we evolved from amoebas, but no one has yet told where the amoebas came from." An excellent question-- answered by neither side. The Catholics bank on the assumption that a divine being, "God", created everything. (But if God is perfect and makes no mistakes, then why did evolution occur at all?) The scientists/evolutionists say "We haven't figured it out yet."
As far as Hell goes, they say that Hell is mentioned several times in the Bible; therefore it exists. Umm- what? NOT convincing. Also, they say that no one is going to Hell, because they have a paragraph-long quote from the Bible saying that Hell was never intended for humans; it was intended for Satan and his demons. In other words, no matter what we do or how warped we are, we are all going to Heaven. --This is NOT what the Catholic church has told me my whole life.
The questions and answers section has not been helpful to me AT ALL. All it has done is make me even more aware that the arguments for faith are very shaky and rely a lot on faith. I would liken it to someone with vision trying to tell someone blind what it is like to see a dolphin. The person with vision takes his eyesight very much for granted, and is stumped as to how to tell the blind person what the dolphin looks like. Furthermore, the blind person is wondering if the whole thing is pointless in the first place. After all, the blind person can't see the dolphin. So the blind person begins to lose interest as the seeing person fumbles for some sort of description, and finally ends up describing the dolphin in terms that only the seeing person understands.
Christians believe that they have seen the light and that those who haven't can if they want to... which is why I made the seeing man the converter. Still, it's not a perfect analogy.
I shall be examining every book of the Bible one by one. Some, I will deem not even worth reading because they are pure fiction. Others, I will be examining very closely and deciding what I can and cannot trust as even being possibly true. Finally, and ultimately, I will decide whether or not I am a Christian, and I will give all my reasons for it, calmly and logically.
I may end up, if my notes are long enough, publishing my works as a book, "Skepticism and Catholicism." If I do end up believing Catholicism, or at least Christianity in general, then I will use my real name as the author. If, however, I find that I am an atheist at the end of it all, I will have to use a pen name, because on the very off-chance that the book actually gains popularity and ends up on some sort of booklist, my parents are going to see it, and they are not going to be happy with me. As I am the peacemaker of my family, I would really prefer not to start any personal wars within it.
If you want, I can publish my results here... but look at it as a rough draft, and sometimes cliffnotes, because if I do decide to publish it, it would be awfully foolish to have the whole damned thing available free online to anyone who's looking for it.
So, for now, Internet, I bid you adieu.
Monday, October 11, 2010
I'm Not Going To Hell For This
Dear Internet,
Today, I want to talk about Satan.
I don't think he exists.
Think about it-- when does Jesus mention the presence of Satan in the Bible? Can you recall any specific mention of Jesus talking about Satan? Sure, there's the incident when Jesus went out into the desert and was "tempted by Satan", but I really think that story was more of a pilgrimage for Jesus, and that instead of being tormented by Satan, he was actually being tormented by his human body, by its wants and needs, the "wants of the flesh." (I shall expand on this topic shortly, and why I put it in quotation marks. But until then, back to the point.) Now, I don't have a Bible next to me, but as being raised Catholic by some very Catholic parents and extended family, I'm pretty confident in my claim that if Jesus ever mentioned Satan's existence, it was very rarely.
Why is that? If God and Satan are at war with each other, as the Old Testament proclaims, then why did Jesus not talk at length about this battle?
Could it be because Satan doesn't exist?
I've already commented on the very arrogant nature of humans. Historically, and even today, humans tend to be very self-absorbed, egotistical beings who would like to believe that the world revolves around them. (In psychological terms, this tendency is called being "egocentric.") Because of the egocentricity of humans, we, as a race, wanted to explain all the bad things that happen- disease, famine, plague, death, heartbreak, mental abnormalities, physical deformities, misfortune in general- and so someone, somewhere along the line, came up with the idea that there is a supreme, evil being called The Devil, or Satan, or Lucifer, who has legions of demons sent out to do these evils in the world.
According to this theory, there are demons everywhere tempting us to do wrong things. In ye olden days, it was believed that people with psychological abnormalities, such a schizophrenia, were being possessed by demons. (Of course, nowadays, we know that this is not the case.) Possessions of humans by demons were a rather regular occurrence, and priests were paid to exorcise the demons from their bodies with primitive chants and earnest, if corny and self-righteous, prayers to God. It was believed that following the Ten Commandments, going to church, and going to confession regularly would lessen the chances of being possessed, and that if one was born in a bad condition, then the parents must have committed some large sin to have a deformed/diseased child. (Again, nowadays we know that this is not the case.)
However, even in the Bible, there are obvious holes in this Satan theory-- for example, it was also believed that psychological abnormalities, disease, and such were punishments from God to those who had sinned. Everything from famine to birth defects was a punishment for a sin. --Well then, if all the misfortune in the world is a punishment from God because someone committed a sin, then where is there room for the Devil to do his torment? Answer: there is none.
It is my theory that Satan was invented by humans in order to explain the bad things that people do, and that Satan does not exist. The Bible re-iterates over and over that "The flesh is weak, but the spirit is strong." They are referring to the physical body of a human when they say "the flesh", and our "immortal soul" when they say "the spirit." (Immortal soul is put in quotation marks because it will be discussed later.) Well, just for a minute, let's think about Freud. He hypothesized that the human consciousness has three major forces controlling it: the id, the ego, and the superego. It sounds to me as if "the flesh" is the id, and "the spirit" is the superego. (Our actions are decided and carried out by the ego.)
This means that whenever "the flesh" is being tempted by Satan, what is actually happening is that the human body is having a primitive urge. (You name one sin that this theory doesn't work for, I DARE you.) So what do we do? We think about what we want to do versus what we 'should' do, according to our personal morals, and we act. Worded differently, our "spirit"/superego tells us what the 'right' thing to do is, and we do that via our ego.
If you don't believe Freud, or you if you are skeptical of Freud, for some reason (Note: I do not encourage anyone to blindly accept theories from any source. You should really think things over for yourself and take everything with a grain of salt, no matter how convincing it is, and ultimately, do not let anyone else tell you what to believe. Decide for yourself; see what sits right with you.), then I shall word the basic concept differently one more time: Everyone has basic urges- thirst, hunger, lust, to name a few. If we could, we would have sex with every attractive person we wanted, and we'd eat until our stomachs burst (Note: stomachs cannot actually burst. It was an expression). According to the Bible, this is the weakness of the flesh. However, we have morals which prevent us from sleeping with every attractive person that we see, and common sense to tell us that we should not eat until we are sick. The Bible refers to this as the spirit. So our urges and our morals conflict, and we decide what to do.
This takes me to another topic: "the spirit." Aka, the "soul."
I don't think souls exist. (Which also means that I do not believe in Heaven or Hell, or an afterlife of any sort.)
I think (Note: I am saying "I think"; this is a theory, a hypothesis, an idea. Feel free to believe what you want.) that humans created the idea of souls because they wanted to believe that they were immortal. They created the idea of an afterlife because they want to live forever. For hundreds and hundreds of years, humans were obsessed with staying young and living as long as possible. So, egocentric, arrogant, egotistical beings that we are, humans decided that this "spirit" part of us is immortal, and that if we are "bad" and give in to our primitive urges, we are going to Hell with Satan (who does not exist), but that if we are "good" and follow our morals, we are going to Heaven with God (who probably exists).
Basics of religion (any religion, not just Christianity): Be good, and you will be rewarded. For some religions, you are promoted to a higher life form in your next life via reincarnation. For others, you are rewarded by going to a place with an eternal supply of food and virgins, or worship and praise, forever. (The problem I find with most heavens is that they offer joys of the flesh, which we will (according to these religions) no longer have once we get to heaven.)
Well, if there is no Satan, then there is no Hell. So that means we all go to Heaven, no matter how we act. This certainly does not fit in with the views of Christians. According to them, if you do not act "good", or if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your savior, you are going to Hell.
Now, my idea of God has always been that of a forgiving, loving figure. If he lovingly created us in his image and sent his only son to "save" us, then doesn't he sound like the kind of guy that, no matter what religion you are, if you lived a good life, you'd go to Heaven? --That question really bothered me for years.
And given our new definition of "flesh" and "spirit", isn't "soul" just a misnamed term for our conscience? If so, nobody goes to Heaven because there is no Heaven, and we do not have souls.
To me, Christianity sounds more and more like just a set of rules for behavior. A certain elite group wanted people to act a certain way, so they manipulated us into believing it all.
Now, that makes people like the twelve apostles look really stupid. They started a lot of this stuff, including all of the traditions of the Catholic church. They believed without doubt that Jesus was the son of God (except for Thomas, who insisted on feeling the holes in Jesus's hands) (but how do we know that the story of Jesus's ghost visiting them is not just another fabrication, an exaggeration?).
No matter how convincing some of the stuff in the Bible is, and putting aside supposedly historically accurate things (like ancestry), nothing in it can be proven, especially in a concrete, undoubtable way. Mostly, it is the collective works of philosophers and the recording of legends passed down by oral tradition. Some of it is pure fiction, like the story of creation.
Mom talks to me all the time about how American society is brainwashing us, but she is blind to the fact that religion does the same thing: insisting that we believe certain things because some elite group wants us to. (Yes, I realize this claim makes me a conspiracy theorist, to an extent. I have no problem with that, as it is true.)
I shall probably read a Bible again some time in the near future, with all this skepticism in mind, and blog again about the results of my research (for reading the Bible through cynical eyes will be research).
Until then, I leave you to ponder what I have said and examine your own beliefs. Don't be afraid to do this; if you find good reasons that I am wrong, then your faith will be all the stronger for it, and your convictions as well. And I say, sincerely, that if that is what happens, then I congratulate you. If, however, you find yourself forming your own theories about religion, then I also congratulate you, because you are doing something that many people are afraid to do: search for the truth.
Today, I want to talk about Satan.
I don't think he exists.
Think about it-- when does Jesus mention the presence of Satan in the Bible? Can you recall any specific mention of Jesus talking about Satan? Sure, there's the incident when Jesus went out into the desert and was "tempted by Satan", but I really think that story was more of a pilgrimage for Jesus, and that instead of being tormented by Satan, he was actually being tormented by his human body, by its wants and needs, the "wants of the flesh." (I shall expand on this topic shortly, and why I put it in quotation marks. But until then, back to the point.) Now, I don't have a Bible next to me, but as being raised Catholic by some very Catholic parents and extended family, I'm pretty confident in my claim that if Jesus ever mentioned Satan's existence, it was very rarely.
Why is that? If God and Satan are at war with each other, as the Old Testament proclaims, then why did Jesus not talk at length about this battle?
Could it be because Satan doesn't exist?
I've already commented on the very arrogant nature of humans. Historically, and even today, humans tend to be very self-absorbed, egotistical beings who would like to believe that the world revolves around them. (In psychological terms, this tendency is called being "egocentric.") Because of the egocentricity of humans, we, as a race, wanted to explain all the bad things that happen- disease, famine, plague, death, heartbreak, mental abnormalities, physical deformities, misfortune in general- and so someone, somewhere along the line, came up with the idea that there is a supreme, evil being called The Devil, or Satan, or Lucifer, who has legions of demons sent out to do these evils in the world.
According to this theory, there are demons everywhere tempting us to do wrong things. In ye olden days, it was believed that people with psychological abnormalities, such a schizophrenia, were being possessed by demons. (Of course, nowadays, we know that this is not the case.) Possessions of humans by demons were a rather regular occurrence, and priests were paid to exorcise the demons from their bodies with primitive chants and earnest, if corny and self-righteous, prayers to God. It was believed that following the Ten Commandments, going to church, and going to confession regularly would lessen the chances of being possessed, and that if one was born in a bad condition, then the parents must have committed some large sin to have a deformed/diseased child. (Again, nowadays we know that this is not the case.)
However, even in the Bible, there are obvious holes in this Satan theory-- for example, it was also believed that psychological abnormalities, disease, and such were punishments from God to those who had sinned. Everything from famine to birth defects was a punishment for a sin. --Well then, if all the misfortune in the world is a punishment from God because someone committed a sin, then where is there room for the Devil to do his torment? Answer: there is none.
It is my theory that Satan was invented by humans in order to explain the bad things that people do, and that Satan does not exist. The Bible re-iterates over and over that "The flesh is weak, but the spirit is strong." They are referring to the physical body of a human when they say "the flesh", and our "immortal soul" when they say "the spirit." (Immortal soul is put in quotation marks because it will be discussed later.) Well, just for a minute, let's think about Freud. He hypothesized that the human consciousness has three major forces controlling it: the id, the ego, and the superego. It sounds to me as if "the flesh" is the id, and "the spirit" is the superego. (Our actions are decided and carried out by the ego.)
This means that whenever "the flesh" is being tempted by Satan, what is actually happening is that the human body is having a primitive urge. (You name one sin that this theory doesn't work for, I DARE you.) So what do we do? We think about what we want to do versus what we 'should' do, according to our personal morals, and we act. Worded differently, our "spirit"/superego tells us what the 'right' thing to do is, and we do that via our ego.
If you don't believe Freud, or you if you are skeptical of Freud, for some reason (Note: I do not encourage anyone to blindly accept theories from any source. You should really think things over for yourself and take everything with a grain of salt, no matter how convincing it is, and ultimately, do not let anyone else tell you what to believe. Decide for yourself; see what sits right with you.), then I shall word the basic concept differently one more time: Everyone has basic urges- thirst, hunger, lust, to name a few. If we could, we would have sex with every attractive person we wanted, and we'd eat until our stomachs burst (Note: stomachs cannot actually burst. It was an expression). According to the Bible, this is the weakness of the flesh. However, we have morals which prevent us from sleeping with every attractive person that we see, and common sense to tell us that we should not eat until we are sick. The Bible refers to this as the spirit. So our urges and our morals conflict, and we decide what to do.
This takes me to another topic: "the spirit." Aka, the "soul."
I don't think souls exist. (Which also means that I do not believe in Heaven or Hell, or an afterlife of any sort.)
I think (Note: I am saying "I think"; this is a theory, a hypothesis, an idea. Feel free to believe what you want.) that humans created the idea of souls because they wanted to believe that they were immortal. They created the idea of an afterlife because they want to live forever. For hundreds and hundreds of years, humans were obsessed with staying young and living as long as possible. So, egocentric, arrogant, egotistical beings that we are, humans decided that this "spirit" part of us is immortal, and that if we are "bad" and give in to our primitive urges, we are going to Hell with Satan (who does not exist), but that if we are "good" and follow our morals, we are going to Heaven with God (who probably exists).
Basics of religion (any religion, not just Christianity): Be good, and you will be rewarded. For some religions, you are promoted to a higher life form in your next life via reincarnation. For others, you are rewarded by going to a place with an eternal supply of food and virgins, or worship and praise, forever. (The problem I find with most heavens is that they offer joys of the flesh, which we will (according to these religions) no longer have once we get to heaven.)
Well, if there is no Satan, then there is no Hell. So that means we all go to Heaven, no matter how we act. This certainly does not fit in with the views of Christians. According to them, if you do not act "good", or if you do not accept Jesus Christ as your savior, you are going to Hell.
Now, my idea of God has always been that of a forgiving, loving figure. If he lovingly created us in his image and sent his only son to "save" us, then doesn't he sound like the kind of guy that, no matter what religion you are, if you lived a good life, you'd go to Heaven? --That question really bothered me for years.
And given our new definition of "flesh" and "spirit", isn't "soul" just a misnamed term for our conscience? If so, nobody goes to Heaven because there is no Heaven, and we do not have souls.
To me, Christianity sounds more and more like just a set of rules for behavior. A certain elite group wanted people to act a certain way, so they manipulated us into believing it all.
Now, that makes people like the twelve apostles look really stupid. They started a lot of this stuff, including all of the traditions of the Catholic church. They believed without doubt that Jesus was the son of God (except for Thomas, who insisted on feeling the holes in Jesus's hands) (but how do we know that the story of Jesus's ghost visiting them is not just another fabrication, an exaggeration?).
No matter how convincing some of the stuff in the Bible is, and putting aside supposedly historically accurate things (like ancestry), nothing in it can be proven, especially in a concrete, undoubtable way. Mostly, it is the collective works of philosophers and the recording of legends passed down by oral tradition. Some of it is pure fiction, like the story of creation.
Mom talks to me all the time about how American society is brainwashing us, but she is blind to the fact that religion does the same thing: insisting that we believe certain things because some elite group wants us to. (Yes, I realize this claim makes me a conspiracy theorist, to an extent. I have no problem with that, as it is true.)
I shall probably read a Bible again some time in the near future, with all this skepticism in mind, and blog again about the results of my research (for reading the Bible through cynical eyes will be research).
Until then, I leave you to ponder what I have said and examine your own beliefs. Don't be afraid to do this; if you find good reasons that I am wrong, then your faith will be all the stronger for it, and your convictions as well. And I say, sincerely, that if that is what happens, then I congratulate you. If, however, you find yourself forming your own theories about religion, then I also congratulate you, because you are doing something that many people are afraid to do: search for the truth.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
How I Get Through Life
Dear Internet,
I get down just like everybody else. I have my good days, and I have my off days. But sometimes, things happen which hurt me deeply, which cause depression, which make me wonder sometimes if life will ever be happy again or if I should just off myself-- but I always manage to bounce back, to keep moving forward, because of my drugs of choice: Humor and Optimism.
My main philosophies are:
Truly, I would not be me without him.
Nor would I be alive.
I get down just like everybody else. I have my good days, and I have my off days. But sometimes, things happen which hurt me deeply, which cause depression, which make me wonder sometimes if life will ever be happy again or if I should just off myself-- but I always manage to bounce back, to keep moving forward, because of my drugs of choice: Humor and Optimism.
My main philosophies are:
- "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life"- Monty Python
- What is meant to be will find a way
- Love conquers all
- Things will get better
- Everyone deserves to be loved, as they are at this very moment, no matter what
- Everything happens for a reason
Truly, I would not be me without him.
Nor would I be alive.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Prayers and Free Will
Dear Internet,
I touched on this in Skepticism and Catholicism, but only briefly: what is the point of prayers?
I concede that there is probably a God out there, since I do not believe in the Big Bang theory or evolution, so something must have created us somehow. Even if the Big Bang theory is true, something had to have created those first quarks. They didn't just pop up out of nowhere. The universe can't have suddenly just came to be for no reason at all. Something out there must have created it. And we choose to call that something "God".
Now, assuming that this belief is true-- assuming that there is a God-- it is probably a good idea to respect such a being. With all the intricacies of the universe he supposedly created, and with all the things that happen in this world and in outer space, he seems to have formidable power. The power to create; the power to destroy. I am not advocating fear of him, necessarily- just healthy respect. Sort of like how one respects Niagara Falls, because it is big and has lots of power.
So respect: granted.
But why do we have to worship him? Jesus apparently told us to, and for a long time before he came along, other people believed in this God guy and offered him dead animals and stuff- but how do we know what Jesus said? I'm fairly certain Jesus existed; historically, that seems to be confirmed, if by nothing else than a lot of people telling the same story, which would be extremely unlikely to happen if it was a lie, especially since those people insisted that it was all true.
All right, so Jesus existed. And he told us to pray to God.
Supposedly.
But how do we know that? We don't. It's all by word of mouth.
And yet someone must have told all his disciples the words of the Our Father, which they all know... but who is to say that one of the disciples did not just make it up? How do we know they kept the same exact words Jesus told them-- once? It is entirely possible that they messed up the words.
The church encourages us to pray to God all the time. To tell him what we want, to apologize for things we did against Him, to thank him for stuff. But why?
If fate is true, if God has a plan for all of us, then it doesn't matter what we do because everything has been pre-determined. We could just sit on the sofa all day watching Spongebob and playing Halo, and our jobs would just fall into our laps magically. Wouldn't that be nice?
But no, God gave us free will.
Well, why in the heck did God give us free will if everything we would ever do was already planned out? Why would he give us a conscience if all the wrong we would ever do was already in his neat little schedule? Why would he give us rules for existence if our existence was already going to happen a certain way, rules or no rules?
Why ask God for anything if everything is already planned out?
If God has a plan for all of us, if we are stuck with our fates no matter what, then why did God tell us to pray to him? That would make no sense. We'd all be asking for things we'd never get, all the time. Why would he tell us to do that? Why give us false hope?
So although fate is supported in the Bible, so is free will. Both cannot coexist. It has to be one or the other.
I tend to believe that some things are meant to be. But what? Only good things ever seem to be meant to be, or really really bad things that we have no other way of coping with. Fate is a coping mechanism of a belief.
There are lots of stories, though, about things that cannot be explained by science. Ways in which people were helped, seemingly, by divine intervention. Stories about events that only seem to prove that the Christian God is real.
So it seems that God does help us out, does show His infinite power, every so often- if only to remind us that he's there.
Therefore, I still believe that some things are meant to be, that God interferes with our lives sometimes.
But why would he do that? If he has a plan for us... then that would make sense.
So how can God have a plan for us if fate is not real? The Catholic church would tell me to stop right there, and settle this whole thought train with "It's a divine mystery."
Well, I happen to think 'divine mysteries' are a load of bull crap. I don't think God is three people in one- that's impossible. Maybe he has friends up there helping him. Maybe he has the power to split himself into multiple beings if he so chooses. But I do not believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I mean, obviously, if Jesus spoke the truth, he was the son of God, so there must be a father up there that impregnated Mary. But what in the heck is the Holy Spirit? A dove? A bunch of flames? The Catholic church would probably say that we represent the Holy Spirit as a dove or a bunch of flames because we cannot really see or imagine its true form. --Yeah, bologna. God sent that stuff himself.
I used to be into praying when I was a kid. I think lots of kids raised Christian pray for stuff they want-- toys, mostly-- but then they get it and they start to wonder why they should pray for things that they don't get. People pray for God not to take away a dying loved one, and when that loved one dies, they are depressed and lose faith in God. "Oh, but it was God's will that your loved one died. He was calling them home. It was their time." --That is what the church says. That endorses fate. And it means that prayers are useless, because whatever it is is gonna happen, no matter if you pray or if you don't.
That's why I don't pray anymore. Whether God 'answers' a prayer or doesn't, people still pray either way, even though they believe God's will is gonna happen no matter what. And they even ask God for his will to be done, as if we have the power to stop the will of an all-powerful being who put us here in the first place.
--You see why I'm questioning religion so heavily, here? Even the basics of life are contradicted all over the freaking place, and we just have to blindly believe it.
Well, I don't.
The conclusion for this post is that God probably exists, that prayers are useless if fate is real, and that I am still not sure if I believe in fate. I still believe that some things were meant to be, but I am still questioning the logic of those beliefs.
You don't have to agree with me. You can feel free to tell me, calmly and rationally, why you believe one thing or another. I'm just sharing my reasoning and my beliefs here.
I touched on this in Skepticism and Catholicism, but only briefly: what is the point of prayers?
I concede that there is probably a God out there, since I do not believe in the Big Bang theory or evolution, so something must have created us somehow. Even if the Big Bang theory is true, something had to have created those first quarks. They didn't just pop up out of nowhere. The universe can't have suddenly just came to be for no reason at all. Something out there must have created it. And we choose to call that something "God".
Now, assuming that this belief is true-- assuming that there is a God-- it is probably a good idea to respect such a being. With all the intricacies of the universe he supposedly created, and with all the things that happen in this world and in outer space, he seems to have formidable power. The power to create; the power to destroy. I am not advocating fear of him, necessarily- just healthy respect. Sort of like how one respects Niagara Falls, because it is big and has lots of power.
So respect: granted.
But why do we have to worship him? Jesus apparently told us to, and for a long time before he came along, other people believed in this God guy and offered him dead animals and stuff- but how do we know what Jesus said? I'm fairly certain Jesus existed; historically, that seems to be confirmed, if by nothing else than a lot of people telling the same story, which would be extremely unlikely to happen if it was a lie, especially since those people insisted that it was all true.
All right, so Jesus existed. And he told us to pray to God.
Supposedly.
But how do we know that? We don't. It's all by word of mouth.
And yet someone must have told all his disciples the words of the Our Father, which they all know... but who is to say that one of the disciples did not just make it up? How do we know they kept the same exact words Jesus told them-- once? It is entirely possible that they messed up the words.
The church encourages us to pray to God all the time. To tell him what we want, to apologize for things we did against Him, to thank him for stuff. But why?
If fate is true, if God has a plan for all of us, then it doesn't matter what we do because everything has been pre-determined. We could just sit on the sofa all day watching Spongebob and playing Halo, and our jobs would just fall into our laps magically. Wouldn't that be nice?
But no, God gave us free will.
Well, why in the heck did God give us free will if everything we would ever do was already planned out? Why would he give us a conscience if all the wrong we would ever do was already in his neat little schedule? Why would he give us rules for existence if our existence was already going to happen a certain way, rules or no rules?
Why ask God for anything if everything is already planned out?
If God has a plan for all of us, if we are stuck with our fates no matter what, then why did God tell us to pray to him? That would make no sense. We'd all be asking for things we'd never get, all the time. Why would he tell us to do that? Why give us false hope?
So although fate is supported in the Bible, so is free will. Both cannot coexist. It has to be one or the other.
I tend to believe that some things are meant to be. But what? Only good things ever seem to be meant to be, or really really bad things that we have no other way of coping with. Fate is a coping mechanism of a belief.
There are lots of stories, though, about things that cannot be explained by science. Ways in which people were helped, seemingly, by divine intervention. Stories about events that only seem to prove that the Christian God is real.
So it seems that God does help us out, does show His infinite power, every so often- if only to remind us that he's there.
Therefore, I still believe that some things are meant to be, that God interferes with our lives sometimes.
But why would he do that? If he has a plan for us... then that would make sense.
So how can God have a plan for us if fate is not real? The Catholic church would tell me to stop right there, and settle this whole thought train with "It's a divine mystery."
Well, I happen to think 'divine mysteries' are a load of bull crap. I don't think God is three people in one- that's impossible. Maybe he has friends up there helping him. Maybe he has the power to split himself into multiple beings if he so chooses. But I do not believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I mean, obviously, if Jesus spoke the truth, he was the son of God, so there must be a father up there that impregnated Mary. But what in the heck is the Holy Spirit? A dove? A bunch of flames? The Catholic church would probably say that we represent the Holy Spirit as a dove or a bunch of flames because we cannot really see or imagine its true form. --Yeah, bologna. God sent that stuff himself.
I used to be into praying when I was a kid. I think lots of kids raised Christian pray for stuff they want-- toys, mostly-- but then they get it and they start to wonder why they should pray for things that they don't get. People pray for God not to take away a dying loved one, and when that loved one dies, they are depressed and lose faith in God. "Oh, but it was God's will that your loved one died. He was calling them home. It was their time." --That is what the church says. That endorses fate. And it means that prayers are useless, because whatever it is is gonna happen, no matter if you pray or if you don't.
That's why I don't pray anymore. Whether God 'answers' a prayer or doesn't, people still pray either way, even though they believe God's will is gonna happen no matter what. And they even ask God for his will to be done, as if we have the power to stop the will of an all-powerful being who put us here in the first place.
--You see why I'm questioning religion so heavily, here? Even the basics of life are contradicted all over the freaking place, and we just have to blindly believe it.
Well, I don't.
The conclusion for this post is that God probably exists, that prayers are useless if fate is real, and that I am still not sure if I believe in fate. I still believe that some things were meant to be, but I am still questioning the logic of those beliefs.
You don't have to agree with me. You can feel free to tell me, calmly and rationally, why you believe one thing or another. I'm just sharing my reasoning and my beliefs here.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Homosexuality
Dear Internet,
Today I am going to blog about homosexuality.
My parents, as Catholics, have been kind of a thorn in my side on this issue, because they insist on sticking to the traditional beliefs, put forth by closed-minded, egotistical, fear-all-that-are-not-like-us people thousands of years ago, and if they ever found out that I supported homosexuals, they would either disown me or throw a Bible at me and watch me as they forced me to read every word until I'd memorized the damned thing. The Bible has parts in it that are obviously against homosexuality, and homosexuality is frowned on by Christians. It is seen as impure and wrong, as a disease, as a choice, as a sin.
I have seen reason enough to convince me that homosexuality is not a choice; therefore how can it be a sin? God created us all lovingly with our own crosses to bear. Some of us are shy, some of us are not-too-bright, some of us are stubborn, and some of us are gay. It's not really a choice, in my opinion, because of a few very compelling arguments I've heard.
1) If you have a homosexual relative, then you more than likely have more than one homosexual relative.
2) Therapy does not work. It only frustrates them, because someone else has told them that homosexuality is wrong, and they want to do the right thing, but they just can't.
3) Why on Earth would a person decide to get made fun of in early adolescence, throughout all of middle school and high school? Why would they choose to look for something so rare- it's hard enough to find The One; why insist on someone that is part of such a small group? Why ostracize yourself and make life hard on yourself? Who would choose to live like this?
Saying that it is genetic is sort of puzzling, because how could it be? Logically, if two people of opposite genders are gay, or even if only one of them is gay, why would they have sex with a member of the opposite gender, when they are repulsed by members of the opposite gender? It makes no sense. So how can a gay person have a baby?
Well, my answer is, typically, the gay people of the world do not have children. --So then, how...?
Because- I believe that it is sort of like a recessive trait, except that it is a mutation of a gene (or certain genes) having to do with sex drive. It is not entirely genetic; environmental factors can either negate, lessen, or encourage the trait. But I do think that it could be genetic. But this is only a theory I have... there is not much research that really shows either way, whether it is genetic or not.
Anyway.
I have personally met both homosexual men and women, and I have to say that, especially for men, this trait seems to be something they cannot control. (Weirdly, the women I met had made a choice to be homosexual. One of them was fed up with men in general, and had been getting crushes on women and men throughout adolescence. The other had a phobia of penises, was repulsed by them, but did not find out until she saw one. Up until that point, she had been primarily interested in men. After that point, she became interested solely in women...) (The men, though, said that they would change their sexual orientation if they could...)
I, myself, am bi-curious. I have always enjoyed looking at both women and men, and as I see women as more beautiful in general, I more often remark on a beautiful woman than a beautiful man. (But then, I'm very picky when it comes to men, so it is not very often that I meet/observe one which I find attractive.) However, although I do enjoy looking at women, I have managed to convince my mother, at least, that it is a purely artistic thing (I am an artist), and that I am simply admiring beauty. I would never become lesbian for three reasons: One, my parents would disown me; Two, I want children, and I need a man to do that; Three, although I have had little crushes on women here and there, I have never been in love with one. I have only ever fallen in love with men.
So I am straight for the sake of dating and future spouse purposes, and I would never have sex with a girl, but I still enjoy looking at them, especially when they are naked, or when they have wonderful breasts. I have had fantasies where I am a man and I am having sex with a woman, but although I wanted to be male for most of my life, I realized sometime over the past few years that my brain is wired to be a woman. I considered getting a sex change through most of adolescence, but I realized that I want to be a mother, and I am attracted most strongly to men, so it would be best if I stayed female.
This being the case, and me having been close to homosexuals socially and emotionally, I am a bit biased towards them. But those that are against homosexuality either have not been exposed to it or else are afraid of it, and I think that is sad.
Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. Homosexuals would like to change that definition to being a union between two people who want to love (and have sex with) solely each other for the rest of their lives. I say, if two people love each other, it does not matter what their race or gender or financial standing or social standing is, what their background is, or what their religion is. If two people love each other enough to dedicate their lives to each other, then I say Love is Love. Let them to it. Who are they hurting? Nobody.
So yes, Internet, although I have to hide it, I do support gay marriage.
It is sad that I have to hide things like this from my parents. I wish they would be more open and accepting. There are even a few friends that I have to hide these type of thoughts from... but I love them, so I do hide these thoughts from them.
That is a bit of a conflict with me, because I believe in being as honest as possible. A lie, no matter how seemingly innocent or small, is still a lie, and it is always painful when the truth is found out. I say that there is no excuse, ever, for telling a lie, even if the lie is just not telling the truth. But think of it this way: You do not tell a child about sex, even though it is true. That is not a lie; it is the withholding of certain information to protect their innocence. So in a way, it is to protect these friendships that I am not telling them, because they do not need to know these things about me.
All the same... I still wish my parents would be more open-minded.
Today I am going to blog about homosexuality.
My parents, as Catholics, have been kind of a thorn in my side on this issue, because they insist on sticking to the traditional beliefs, put forth by closed-minded, egotistical, fear-all-that-are-not-like-us people thousands of years ago, and if they ever found out that I supported homosexuals, they would either disown me or throw a Bible at me and watch me as they forced me to read every word until I'd memorized the damned thing. The Bible has parts in it that are obviously against homosexuality, and homosexuality is frowned on by Christians. It is seen as impure and wrong, as a disease, as a choice, as a sin.
I have seen reason enough to convince me that homosexuality is not a choice; therefore how can it be a sin? God created us all lovingly with our own crosses to bear. Some of us are shy, some of us are not-too-bright, some of us are stubborn, and some of us are gay. It's not really a choice, in my opinion, because of a few very compelling arguments I've heard.
1) If you have a homosexual relative, then you more than likely have more than one homosexual relative.
2) Therapy does not work. It only frustrates them, because someone else has told them that homosexuality is wrong, and they want to do the right thing, but they just can't.
3) Why on Earth would a person decide to get made fun of in early adolescence, throughout all of middle school and high school? Why would they choose to look for something so rare- it's hard enough to find The One; why insist on someone that is part of such a small group? Why ostracize yourself and make life hard on yourself? Who would choose to live like this?
Saying that it is genetic is sort of puzzling, because how could it be? Logically, if two people of opposite genders are gay, or even if only one of them is gay, why would they have sex with a member of the opposite gender, when they are repulsed by members of the opposite gender? It makes no sense. So how can a gay person have a baby?
Well, my answer is, typically, the gay people of the world do not have children. --So then, how...?
Because- I believe that it is sort of like a recessive trait, except that it is a mutation of a gene (or certain genes) having to do with sex drive. It is not entirely genetic; environmental factors can either negate, lessen, or encourage the trait. But I do think that it could be genetic. But this is only a theory I have... there is not much research that really shows either way, whether it is genetic or not.
Anyway.
I have personally met both homosexual men and women, and I have to say that, especially for men, this trait seems to be something they cannot control. (Weirdly, the women I met had made a choice to be homosexual. One of them was fed up with men in general, and had been getting crushes on women and men throughout adolescence. The other had a phobia of penises, was repulsed by them, but did not find out until she saw one. Up until that point, she had been primarily interested in men. After that point, she became interested solely in women...) (The men, though, said that they would change their sexual orientation if they could...)
I, myself, am bi-curious. I have always enjoyed looking at both women and men, and as I see women as more beautiful in general, I more often remark on a beautiful woman than a beautiful man. (But then, I'm very picky when it comes to men, so it is not very often that I meet/observe one which I find attractive.) However, although I do enjoy looking at women, I have managed to convince my mother, at least, that it is a purely artistic thing (I am an artist), and that I am simply admiring beauty. I would never become lesbian for three reasons: One, my parents would disown me; Two, I want children, and I need a man to do that; Three, although I have had little crushes on women here and there, I have never been in love with one. I have only ever fallen in love with men.
So I am straight for the sake of dating and future spouse purposes, and I would never have sex with a girl, but I still enjoy looking at them, especially when they are naked, or when they have wonderful breasts. I have had fantasies where I am a man and I am having sex with a woman, but although I wanted to be male for most of my life, I realized sometime over the past few years that my brain is wired to be a woman. I considered getting a sex change through most of adolescence, but I realized that I want to be a mother, and I am attracted most strongly to men, so it would be best if I stayed female.
This being the case, and me having been close to homosexuals socially and emotionally, I am a bit biased towards them. But those that are against homosexuality either have not been exposed to it or else are afraid of it, and I think that is sad.
Marriage is supposed to be between a man and a woman. Homosexuals would like to change that definition to being a union between two people who want to love (and have sex with) solely each other for the rest of their lives. I say, if two people love each other, it does not matter what their race or gender or financial standing or social standing is, what their background is, or what their religion is. If two people love each other enough to dedicate their lives to each other, then I say Love is Love. Let them to it. Who are they hurting? Nobody.
So yes, Internet, although I have to hide it, I do support gay marriage.
It is sad that I have to hide things like this from my parents. I wish they would be more open and accepting. There are even a few friends that I have to hide these type of thoughts from... but I love them, so I do hide these thoughts from them.
That is a bit of a conflict with me, because I believe in being as honest as possible. A lie, no matter how seemingly innocent or small, is still a lie, and it is always painful when the truth is found out. I say that there is no excuse, ever, for telling a lie, even if the lie is just not telling the truth. But think of it this way: You do not tell a child about sex, even though it is true. That is not a lie; it is the withholding of certain information to protect their innocence. So in a way, it is to protect these friendships that I am not telling them, because they do not need to know these things about me.
All the same... I still wish my parents would be more open-minded.
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